hello 1 'n' all,
yep m back again with a subject that is dear to my heart, not bcos m single( cough, cough, clearing my throat) but bcos of what is means for the society at large 'n' wat is says about where we r headed as a people.
so the million naira question, "does living together before marriage actually help anything or any1?"
my resounding answer is NO. i don't believe so and for all y'all who don't agree wa8 before u chew my head off ok? thank God that the various arguments against this phenomenon of co habiting or indirect marriage have gone beyond just religious sentiments, which is much more disheartening for me, and gotten into d realm of social science with surveys and studies to prove it.
now in the "modern" world e.g. America, Europe etc it is has become the norm but i know my 9ja is still majorly opposed to the idea, if for albeit stupid and retarded reasons like; if she lived with him all these years and he STILL didn't marry her there must be something horrible about her that we just can't see on the surface(stupid any1?) or i am not getting anything special from her as she has already done wifely things for this other guy and he STILL wouldn't marry her( yep u got it right, STUPID)
i will however commend 9ja for still trying to hold onto the core values of marriage in this fast pacing times of TV, porn and Internet which this cohabitation issue is trying to erode.
we hold onto the sacred institution of marriage because 1st of all we are basically a religious nation( a fact i am very proud of) and we believe God when he says it is better in the long run and secondly men tend to get lazy when they get things easy(primitive maybe, truth?, most certainly) and i personally think that any woman who agrees to live with the man before getting marriage is playing into the mans game of getting things easy with as little investment possible and is in the long run selling herself short. i personally think i am worth the whole ball and chain, and i can guarantee him he will enjoy every last second of it. LMAO.
now to be fair the folks who feel the other way about this SEEM to have a valid reason on the surface, reasons like; it gives you a better opportunity to get to know the person more intimately without the pain and heart ache of a divorce, and to this i say let the adventure of finding this out BE the journey that is your marriage and the ups and downs of trying to solve the issue will hopefully make your marriage stronger.
but by all means do not take my word for it, but do give these professionals a listen. now the link i have on here are not from Nigerian surveys but i think we can learn early what no to do to end up in this dire situation.
now it wouldn't be fair to leave u all with the dread of what to do to ensure a good, long lasting marriage now that i have convinced you, LOL, of the perils of cohabiting.
fear not, first of all we( as una know say i join d people wen dey find, lmao) need to how to increase our chances of getting and maintaining this happy union, and some of it is outlined here.
and most of all go into marriage with the right idea and temperament, debunking ourselves of these myths on marriage.
and before i leave i would like to commend people( men and women) who have long since decided that this was and is the right path to the hope of a more successful marriage, not only for our sake do we do this but also for our unborn children, it is quiet easy especially in these times to join what is fast being considered the norm and even COOL. no one sees the efforts we put into not having children out of wedlock etc, and YES it is a whole lot of effort. this is one of the reasons why i still love and respect tyra banks, no matter what people say about her, she is 35 and still keeping on with her values. keep strong, fight the good fight, lol.
what do you think? i would like to know ur reasons for or against the idea, drop a line.
until next time,